“The Voice” auditions – here I come……….NOT

I have always wished I could sing, I used to dream of being picked for a lead role in one of our high school musicals (not to be confused with a series of movies by the same name). I am not sure how I got away with it but in year 7 I auditioned for a year 7-9 musical event. The auditions were held in groups and I sung as softly as I could so as to be drowned out by the others in my group. Somehow I managed to be selected for the chorus in the year 7 number. I remember having to be one of several frogs on lily pads singing Rainbow Connection. I got away with singing softly on stage too.

Where I didn’t get away with singing softly was in my music exams for the Flute. I used to do really well with all the “flute stuff”, but there was always an examinable aural section in each and every exam. I remember having to sing the high or low note of two notes being played on the piano or a short piano tune being played and having to sing that tune back to the examiner. I was always downgraded in this section and each and every time I protested that I played the flute because I couldn’t sing so why should I loose points on a flute exam just because I can’t sing.

So, this isn’t the first time I have been to Karaoke. I have been happy to be an audience member and been in awe of those that could sing or admired those that had the courage to get up and sing and sounded horrible. On the odd occasion I did get up it was always with a group and I always lip synced. If it was good enough for Milli Vanilli, it was good enough for me.

After work one Thursday night two workmates dragged me across to the local bowling alley that has a private karaoke room complete with a prop box. The website stated that there was a charge for the prop box but upon booking the room was told that it was included. I can now see why as there were only a couple of hats in the box.

In a flash Emma and Mengsha picked up the microphones and started belting numbers out. I had to sit back, drink a cider for dutch courage and contemplate the challenge that I had set myself – to actually sing and not lip sync. With loads of encouragement from the girls I got up and at first softly sung into the microphone and then thought who cares and started belting it out. It was loads of fun and I didn’t care that I couldn’t really sing and it didn’t seem to bother the girls. We had a blast and my favourite songs were singing “Under the Sea” putting on funny voices and “I’m a Barbie GIrl” and swapping the voices so Barbies voice was deep like she had been taking too many roids and Ken’s voice was high pitched like he had been kicked where it hurts.

So “The Voice” auditions here I come……. NOT. I will be in awe of those that can sing and admire those that have the courage to get up and sing when they sound horrible. But as far as me auditioning, I think I shall pass.

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